Every time I scroll, it’s the same story. Influencers showing off new sports cars. Friends on lavish getaways sipping cocktails by infinity pools. Videos of house tours with spotless marble kitchens and huge walk-in closets. It’s easy to start wondering if everyone else figured something out that I didn’t.

At first, I’d usually tell myself it was motivation. That seeing other people win would push me harder. But after a while, I realized it wasn’t always inspiring me. It was making me restless. I’d check my bank app, glance at my own apartment, and start comparing my life to theirs. How are they affording all that? What am I missing?

It wasn’t just about money either. It was lifestyle, pace, even happiness. Somewhere between college and adulthood, life started to feel like a leaderboard. Who traveled more and who seemed more “together.”

One night, a close friend said something that resonated with me. “I love social media, but every time I scroll, I feel like I’m behind.” I knew exactly what she meant.

We live in an age of constant comparison, and social media makes it worse. A 2023 study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found that people who frequently compare themselves to others online are more likely to experience envy, anxiety, and lower self-esteem. Another study from the University of Copenhagen found that heavy Facebook users reported feeling less happy and less satisfied with their lives after prolonged scrolling.

So when I saw those new cars and exotic vacations, it didn’t just make me curious. It made me feel behind and it took me a while to admit that the problem wasn’t them. It was how I was measuring my own progress.

One night, I watched a “day in my life” video from a twenty-something influencer. She woke up in a luxury condo, drove a Mercedes to a cafe, and called it a “slow work day.” I sat there thinking, “She’s my age. What’s she doing that I’m not?” That thought stuck with me for days.

Then it hit me. I didn’t actually want her life. I just wanted to feel like I was keeping up.

So I made a few changes.

First, I limited how long I scrolled. I noticed my mood dropped after about fifteen minutes of scrolling, so I set time limits and replaced morning scrolling with reading or a quick walk. The less I saw, the less I compared.

Second, I redefined what success looked like for me. It used to mean owning a home or hitting some perfect savings number. Now it’s simpler. Success means peace. It means being calm about my finances. It means not panicking when rent is due and knowing my goals are moving forward, even slowly.

Third, I focused on what I could control. I can’t control what other people earn or post. But I can control how I react. I put more energy into the parts of my life that feel good offline, like projects I care about, people I trust, and habits that make me feel grounded.

Fourth, I started talking about money openly with friends. Not in a braggy way, just honestly. Turns out everyone else feels the same. Everyone’s juggling something behind the curtain. The more we talked, the lighter it felt.

Eventually, those small shifts built momentum. I still see the mansions and vacation posts. They’re everywhere. But they don’t bother me anymore. I can look at them without turning them into a mirror.

Here’s what I’ve learned. Social media isn’t evil, but it can trick you into measuring life by someone else’s scoreboard. And the thing about scoreboards is they only show part of the game.

If you catch yourself doing the same thing, try this:

• Remember that most people post their best days, not their normal ones.
  
• Unfollow accounts that drain you, even if they seem inspirational.
  
• Focus on your own life, not theirs.
  

Comparing is human, but letting it define your worth is optional.

I still scroll, of course. But now, when I see the house tours and the new sports cars, I think, “Good for them.” Then I close the app and get back to my own version of progress. It’s quieter, but it’s mine.